Living cheap; a student’s survival guide (Just for a laugh)

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The highs and lows of being a student is having all the freedom in the world with very little guilt whilst being poor due to reckless spending, stupidity and lack of common sense.

Dealing with uni is stressful enough without having to worry about whether your student loan will stretch until the next installment. You count down the days for it to come and jump for joy as you enter in your pin at the nearest cash point and see thousands of pounds. “I’m rich, I’m rich!” you say. However this excitement doesn’t last for long as you’re soon down to your last twenty. Each time, you say to yourself that you’ll be better the next time round only to find out that you’re flat broke again. Here’s a few ways of handling your money in an effective but slightly dodgy way. Remember you only live once!

Are you a commuter or like to visit your parents on the weekend? If you are then you know that train tickets wipe out your bank account in no time. A handy cheat to avoid this is to find trains stations that leave their barriers open after a certain time.  Students travelling from city to city are known to wait until 10:30pm to board their train, as barriers are open at both stations. However if you are one of the unlucky ones that get caught by the ticket inspectors you have three options, you can either pretend your asleep, buy a ticket for one stop and hope they catch you before your ‘destination’ arrives as it a whole lot cheaper or simply blag your way out of it. Guys I suggest you try the sleepy option and girls, apply that lippy and unbutton that blouse.

Food also tends to rinse you out and although this may seem unfair to others, your stomach will definitely thank you for it. This act requires all housemates to be asleep, a torch at hand and an extreme case of tiptoeing. As the clock strikes twelve and everyone is snoring (which is unlikely for students so maybe at three) gently creep into the kitchen, open the fridge, ignore your housemates label that says ‘Samantha’s pizza, don’t touch’, open the box and eat to your hearts content. This should save you a few quid, as you only need to worry about lunch and dinner.

Similar to the rest of the world, you must hate having to pay rent especially if you’re living on campus, which is we all no is hugely overpriced. What makes it worse is if it’s situated not so far from your parent’s house. And you think to yourself, I’m paying all this money when I could be living at home for free? Parents give you that speech saying that they want you to move out and become independent and experience uni life but what their really saying is that they don’t want you lounging about in their houses anymore and costing them money. All you need to do is give them those puppy dog eyes, shed a tear or two and make them fill guilty for kicking you out. If they give in, you’ll find yourself living rent free with people you know and love.

In order to survive as a student you don’t always have to be conniving but it sure is fun and using the excuse, “I’m a student”, never fails so by all means scheme away!

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